Mostly divine. At times Bovine.

Today I experienced a sort of epiphany. I realised that in the recent past I often did not opt for books that I knew I would enjoy instead I tried to read books that I thought I should read. It is the biggest blunder in the world. It is okay to hear names, it is okay to ask for suggestions but when after 2 pages your head tells you "WTF!" then it is time to bid goodbye to that kind of book (I say "kind" because "that" book I will finish- it is like a pregnancy that I can't terminate...will have to deliver the baby...finish the damned thing...no option there). As a result I have been rather slow in my reading, something that I intend to change. I will obviously be open to suggestions and recommendations of others (I will ask them) , but I will never ignore the voice in my head again.

I don't REALLY "get" early 20th century fiction (broad category...I don't even know all the authors probably...) . It is a scandalous confession. My fingers are protesting as I type it out. Some essays, fine. Some short stories here and there. A novel or two. Fact is, I can't read through most of it. I can't leave a book midway...so basically if it's a novel I struggle for a week and finish it and feel drained and don't go near one for a long time until the guilt pangs hit me again. Given half a chance I would pick a Jhumpa Lahiri over Joyce .

It is a terrible, terrible feeling to confess this. Thanks to my initial aversion I really have not read enough. I haven't given it a chance. Oh. Terrible. So , so, so terrible.

(If you are judging me, please do not comment, I am already judging myself..also do not give me list of your favourite authors etc..it will make me feel more miserable)

Anyway, bye. This is not working. I don't want to feel terrible on a Saturday night.

PS: I absolutely HATE the American Library. They do not renew overdue books over phone and are extremely rude. I think I am staring at a 3 figure fine for my overdue books. :(