Friday, 24 August 2012

Women's Horlicks?

I just had a cup of Women's Horlicks.

So many products dedicated to us. We really make the MNC's run, don't we? Sanitary napkins for those days, Fair and Lovely etc to keep us glowing, thankfully we have a Fair and Handsome counterpart that acknowledges the fact that some women might like a fair skinned dude too, then we have those pills and harmless noncontroversial stuff like Women's Horlicks, a second cousin of Junior Horlicks.

I guess the Horlicks people think Men can go about their business with the 'normal' one, we the weaklings need the special 'Women's' one. How thoughtful. So thoughtful that the entire container is PINK. I like pink. Cherry on the cake? Few days back the social media went crazy about an ad selling a vagina-lightening-and-tightening cream. Olay to fight the 7 signs of aging, as if wrinkles make men so handsome.

Now what do the men have? Heart-healthy oil which the wife must buy so that the husband can remain healthy.There is the Raymonds man holding the woman's hand as she trips, the AXE dude followed by a zillion girls, the doting hubbies in the Tanishq ad who wait patiently as their wives buy diamonds, the loving Cadbury husband who obliges pretty wifey with one Cadbury piece that means "I Love You" (I would have insisted on a whole Lindt bar but then that is why I won't marry). Of course they also have Japani Tel. 


Sunday, 5 August 2012

The 'Jo tera hain wo mera hain' pretty much sucks. Major anticlimax after the "har ek friend' hit.

Just watched Kahaani on TV at night. Not a good idea.

Nervous. Anxious.

I like wearing a rubber band around my finger and pretending that it is a HUGE those cool gigantic stone ones that I adore.

Making a list can be therapeutic. List of what? Vegetables, fruits, animals, board games...go figure!

Having to visit the bank twice in a week is so not cool. I hate it.

Realised today that the forms that we fill everyday are so sexist- the first thing they ask after your name is the name of your father or husband. What are we? Cattle?

Another thing ...a category says ...'If self-employed then tick following boxes:  Doctor. Engineer. C.A. Others.' WOW!

Of course there must be more ridiculous ones out there.


Thursday, 2 August 2012

Every other day I open this blank 'new post' page and attempt to write something very very funny. I don't. I can't. The humour light-bulb in my brain has switched off. 

Some rather non-funny updates.

I still am extremely fond of my bright orange bag, it will be with me wherever I go. 
Mary had a little lamb. Shiny had an orange bag. 

There was a blackout in my part of the world for over 10 hours, here is what I have learnt:

Keep the water tanki full. If you can't, God help.

Sit properly even in the dark as some annoying kid on some terrace has still not mastered the art of handling the torchlight. You might be under the spotlight for no rhyme or reason.

Don't try to fix a candle to a spot by holding the flame of another candle near the first candle's base. The first one melts, bends and soon you have Cupid's bow with no arrow.

Talk softly. There is no noise around. So if you are discussing sensational details about your personal life then probably your neighbours are hearing about it too. Of course if you are the screaming-shouting kind like me then no point. They hear everything everyday.

Don't listen to music on phone and don't tweet about the power-cut. Soon it will give up and go to sleep and then where will you charge your phone silly?

Yes enough about it.

Here is what you CAN do: 

Gossip using the land-line phone.


Eavesdrop on your neighbour in his/her verandah shouting about his/her physical/emotional distress to neighbour no.2 on his/her verandah.


Criticize government, power supply people.

Try to call up power supply people. This will keep you busy for hours because you won't even hear the phone ringing on the other side leave alone a human voice.

Fan yourself till your hand aches. 
(My father has purchased a fan made of plastic, which has the image of a seductress and is labelled "Mallika". He said the Shaalpata ones were not available. I believe him. I don't have a choice.)

Try and imagine what could be happening on your favourite TV show since obviously you can't watch it.

Yes enough about this too.

Okay. Bye.