Sunday, 27 March 2011

Ingredients Alone Do Not A Perfect Dish Make.

In Fond Memory Of My Sunday: A page from The Diary Of A Not-So-Young Girl.

I had spent Saturday night and Sunday morning pondering about some grave truths:

  • Some couples should invest in a mutual fund instead of breeding. All they look for is "return on investment".
  • Getting a dream job is tough, knowing what it is is tough ^ 2
  • Am I endomorphic .as says my weekly magazine?..(the body type for which fasting and work-out does not work )
  • Why am I suddenly unable to finish certain books , which I do not actually find boring?
etc etc.   

Needless to say, my thoughts did not exactly shine bright .........a gloomy stage had been set.

Had every reason to be happy on Sunday, a lazy morning, the prospect of spending time with a friend, dinner at a fancy restaurant and so on..... yet a mind numbing boredom weighed heavy. After all Sundays are "brushing-at-1p.m " days. .. a slew of activities can ruin it. Sulked the entire day ( I am an expert at that).

Did not meet the friend...went for dinner at that fancy place....apart from few moments, got totally bored.
A couple of hours at a mediocre restaurant with a few good pals, or half an hour with a person with whom conversation is not a labour seems divine...and compared to that...the 3 odd hours spent at a fancy place, exchanging stupid pleasantries, being too conscious  of the decor  royally screws my mood.

And honestly....I found the food quite mediocre....barring the appetizer, which was a palak-cheese kabab (some of my non-vegetarian friends will die even trying to imagine what a veg kabab looks like !)

Dress up, travel to that place, eat those fancy stuff, admire the an obscene bill  (or watch r dad pay..ya don't judge me....I'm still a student ..obliging the world by studying)...

I am really sorry.....can you please leave me alone with a Dominoes pizza and a movie/book/nothing ...... ? It would suit me just fine.

PS: When I started this blog, I promised myself, no sob stories, no diary-like confessions etc etc. . But I have decided to allow myself an exception here and there (still adamant about the sob-stories part though).
I have realized I love reading about what goes on in people's lives (I am curious, bitchy,inquisitive and all that...unapologetically so.) , of course the details have to be non-cheesy, interesting, fun, or listless. So I am going to indulge in all that myself. With few readers, my blog is my best-bet right now!

Good Night.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Rescuing Brands

Actors and Cricketers charge a fortune for brand endorsements........ the following can come to their rescue.

Zeus:     Thums Up                  Taste The Thunder

Paris:     Lehar                Control Nahi Hota

Helen:   Loreal                I'm Worth It

Archimedes   Moov        Ah se AHA tak

Achilles (some may not agree)  Sprite          Seedhi Baat. No bakwas. Clear Hain?

Hercules  Rin                Dho Daala

Menelaus  Mirinda          Zor Ka Jhatka Zor Se Lage

Chorus (in most plays)   Garnier      Take Care!

Saturday, 19 March 2011

little bo-peep..

"lipstick dearest
you smell rotten
you remind her of a past forgotten"

"there was a shoe and there was a dress
and then one day there was a royal mess"

"out went the light, there was a fight
then they kissed and said "good-night".


this ain't my story nor is it yours , why are you reading?
 to peep in through a keyhole at times is quite...quite..thrilling
to stand by the window and make out the neighbour's whispers
ah! the very thought is appealing...

 till no one snatches
your candy flavoured lolly-pop

ah then you scream...then you cry...
but shhhhhh
someone's peeping
someone's listening
this time
someone's not you.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Lesson 1: Twinkle Twinkle

Good Morning. Please Be Seated and pay attention.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How I wonder What You Are
Up Above The World So high
Like  A Diamond In The Sky

This is a complicated one, which can be approached from many diverse angles. Let us examine each one.

1. A Child Looking Up At the Sky: The most obvious interpretation, which is accepted universally. It however has the subtext of a human mind viewing Nature in terms of worldly objects, notice that the "star" is "like" a diamond , would the child have said , if he stared at a diamond, that it was "like" a "star" ? Think about it.

2.It could also signify the ever-increasing gulf between Humans and Nature. This might actually be a protest against those who want to de-mystify Nature by comparing it to material objects like "diamonds", a star is "like" a diamond, it is not a diamond, and no matter how much one analyzes Humans will only "wonder what" they are. Perhaps this was written by a distressed Nature-admirer.

***shifting in the windows...we should have some light in the class"

3. Okay next one. It may be a person sarcastically singing it to his or her partner (soon to be ex-partner). The words "twinkle" imply the superficiality of his or her existence.....("all that glitters is not gold "style you see)...

 How I wonder What You Are? the mock-acute frustration born out of a feeling of complete confusion while trying to analyze the woman/man.

 The third line could be an obliquely mocking reference to his/her snobbishness implying that he/she inhabits a different plane of existence. 

The final line expresses an extremely complicated emotion. On one hand she/he considers him/her a diamond, precious, rare but artificial, implying that he still perhaps treasures her/him......otherwise it could have been "like a glass-piece in the sky" pieces "twinkle" as well but he chooses to address him/her as "diamond"...the last three words "in-the sky" an unfulfilled wish....that she should be as far away as the sky put it bluntly, a parting is inevitable.

That's all for Today.


Lesson 2: To Market To Market

to market to market to buy a fat pig
home again home again jiggity jig
to market to market
to buy a fat hog
home again, home again
jiggity jog

A rhyme, which from the very beginning tries to influence the impressionable "space" of a child's brain with Capitalist notions, the emphasis on "market" certainly proves this point. the materialist approach is further encouraged as the child is urged to view a "hog" and a "pig", which are living beings, as the "products" of a "market".  the simple pleasures of life such as social interaction are  discouraged in a subtle manner , as the only activity that fills the gap between "to market" and "home again" is a crude buying and selling. "jiggity jig" and "jiggity jog" express the delight of the purchase and thus try to establish that the only worthwhile form of pleasure can be derived from a successful transaction. Highly abominable and hence the rhyme should be condemned.

****readjusting -10.5 glasses on nose*****

Tomorrow we'll be back with more.


polly put the kettle on
kettle on, kettle on,
polly put the kettle on
we'll all have tea

right after the tea is gone
tea is gone
tea is gone
right after the tea is gone
you will all royally pee

Monday, 7 March 2011

To Vote Or Not To Vote.

Elections are Approaching and  many kinds of answers are blowing in the wind (haawaa of poriborton, baata chondon and what-not).... on the E-Day , even a lazy person such as me goes out to vote.......... are my top 5 superficial reasons :  

1. I am selfish and I hate sharing, I will not let a goon misuse my vote.

There are people who say they don't vote because no one is suitable:

Well darling, life is not Prakash Jha's Raajneeti where Katrina and Arjun Rampal are when you don't have a hamburger..just eat roti. You can also do what I do in these the next point to know.

2. It will be a quest for creativity. Puzzled? See, if I don't find a suitable candidate, I will search for the most creative symbol of an i-will-surely-lose independent candidate, and cast my vote.

3. Is bahaane, I will walk ...a the polling station. 

4. For that indelible ink mark (the shorter you ask them to make it, the longer they will paint it)..... but after days on end, everyone looks at it with approving eyes ...that's Zandu Balm to my vanity.

5. To laugh at people who dress in their best attire at 12 noon......only  to stand and sweat in a queue.

PS: I will strongly recommend that you go to vote. After all it is only once in a blue moon that a 
non-reality-show voting opportunity comes your way in India.......So make use of it.


Saturday, 5 March 2011

Khendi ar Bhonda

Bhoda r Khendi maather ek kone
khachhilo badam bhaaja pulokito mone

Bhonda bole "khendi shona, tui-amar... ami shudhu tor"
khendi koy "hoyo na kobhu chokher ogochor"

badam tokhon pray shesh hote jay
Bhonda hothat bollo "khendi, be kor na amay"

Khendi jyano omaboshhaye shoshaner laash
bhaabe "badam bhaja khaiye ..dilo emni baansh!"

Bhonda kohe  - "tui amar laal jhuti kaka tua"
Khendi ektu shore giye- "thaaama na tor hukka hua"

Bhonda tar ahoto-balok-mon shamle bollo
"tobe kyano mathe ashti roj roj  bikele"

Khendi bollo "oto fushchish kyano 
aanti toh saikel e"

Bhondar ebar chokhe jol , kaapa konthoshhor
 "tobe ki khendi tui onyo karur, nosh ki tui mor?"

Khendi kohe thont bekiye 
"shunle toh kaandbi ,tar cheye bari jaa
dal bhaat macher jhol, maar kole boshe kha"

Ei bole khendi uthe rege rege hete gyalo

Bhonda khub aaste aaste ekta biri jalalo

hothat Bhondar bondhu Ghonoshyam elo shei maathe

Bhondake bollo she "nouka thekeche ghaat e?"

Bhonda ek gaal heshe koilo "eite toh shomudrer dike dilo pari"

Ghonoshyam bollo "ebar ki korbi bhai? ei na hole nari!"

Bhonda ekta kheen hashi diye bolle-
"ei shoptahe paanch tah ache...dekhi jodi ektao pote"

...............Ghonoshyam peeth chaapre kohe "aaah bote! bote !"

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

And The Shockstar Goes To............

For the next few minutes , during which you read this post, you have to make the following extremely difficult assumption...I know you can do please my darling...take a deep breath and assume

..............that I am an expert. 

Presenting The  Shockstar Awards.....honouring  those who successfully shocked us out of our senses at the 83rd Academy Awards.

1. Anne Hathaway : For the infinite number of costume changes.......thumbs up: red carpet entry dress, white dress, blue dress..maroon dress... thumbs down: all the rest. Also for telling Indians that someone can give Ash a stiff competition in giggling. 


Image courtesy:

Also for doing a spontaneous twirl in this metallic jingling dress.....she somehow reminded me of katrina's blue dress in Bin tere sanam song from Race....ARRRGGGHH --sorrry for the comparison Anne... it was not that bad.

2. Cate Blanchet : For showing everyone how an adult can wear a stone studded bib/apron to the Academy Awards.  I'll let the picture speak a thousand words.

Cate Blanchett Givenchy 2011 Academy Awards Oscars red carpet dress

pic courtesy :

I feel as if the top half is a frame for a mirror, in front of which people can come and brush their hair. Also what's with the yellow stuff.....okay i really cannot describe this.....

And I only thought (from first hand experience)that you needed to be fat to look ugly......!!

3.  Aishwarya and Abhishek : Yet again proving your stupidity, internationally this time, by proclaiming "Colin is a great friend".... awww really?? did he say hi? did he like shake hands with you??  

4. Mallika Sherawat : For managing to maintain an awe-inspiring unmatched level of vulgarity. She is so gifted that she can make an opaque, hooded raincoat look vulgar. 

5. Sandra Bullock: **Red Alert** ..............actually joking....i think she looked great !

5. Inception : For not winning any of the major awards.

6. Those kids singing the final song:  After A Colin Firth Speech , a sane person ends the show. 64 kids after Colin Firth.....Are you "kidding" me ??? 
Anti-climax . Period.