Saturday, 18 September 2010

Five Things Celebrities Should Stop Saying When In Kolkata.

  1. I love Mishti Doi and Fish and Roshogolla  : There are people who live in Kolkata, love the city and don’t like either. If you have nothing better to say about the city then say you hate it. We are used to that and are armed with great vague replies about ethics and culture to raze you to the ground. However mishti doi and fish leaves us weaponlessly nauseated. Go try some gulab jamun or mukharochak chanachur for a change !
  2. It is such a beautiful blend of tradition and modernity. What you mean is we have the city centers and  new market. That is as far as you know with your whirlwind tours. Thanks! We can do without the deep meaningful analysis.
  3. People here are not bothered about the rat race. It so peaceful here. You are trying to say people here are lazy, fiercely love their afternoon siestas. And trams running through Maidan is your idea of peace and a time warped existence. You really love the peace? Leave your job and stay here. We’ll welcome you with garlands at the airport.
  4. I love a Bengali meal. What you eat at Oh Calcutta ! or Bhajahori Manna is not the average Bengali meal. If all that you are served at those places were to be cooked in the Bengali kitchen then all our mothers would have died and all our maid servants would have resigned without notice. Trust me there are many average Bengalis who live and die without getting a glimpse of that lovely Daab Chingri.
  5. I love Bengali people. Really? And where have you met them? At press conferences? Or are you talking about the staff at your five star hotels? Surely you haven’t travelled in crowded buses or metros? You must have landed from your private jets or Mercedes cars to wave and shake hands with crowds of the cheerful Bengali people ready with digi cams to capture your lovely right and left profile smiles..
You can love us , you can hate us and trust me you CAN ignore us. We can survive without the condescending hypocritical affections. As for me I will never go to Chennai and say I love idli,dosa…because I genuinely don’t !