Monday, 26 March 2012







Getting high on d
aab er jol. After 3 days of venturing out , I am at peace . I am at home. Surrendering to the calm is the best way. When there is restlessness one reaches out to others. Some are angels , some are only dressed in their attire. So, there is a risk. Better to stick to oneself. Almost like the "child's pose" in modern yoga.

Some people help you to do that, some are so self-absorbed that they try to treat you like soft earth , try to cast you into a shape they desire. They treat you like soft earth when you are like a hot molten metal ready to devour the will that is trying to shape you when you recognise that it is not you, it is another.

The surrender can only occur to myself. That's the only surrender worth it. Everything else is just an illusion. Just a useless groping for company, for approval, for pity, for love. In most cases we know what we look for... then people , acquaintances and friends become like tetra-packs on a supermarket rack. When we get what we want , we are satisfied with the commodity and when we don't, we are not. An endless cycle of disappointment and ecstasy begun by our insecurity. What a royal waste! Also what a confusion!

There is a place for everyone. Cockroaches in hell, eggs in the fridge, biscuits in the tupperware jar. Better that one does not encroach upon another's domain. A poet once said that we are all islands. Islands of agony unable to reach out. Perhaps it is better that way, at times. Yes, at times, not always.



But when you know everything for what it is or have given up trying to do so, then you go back to the "child's pose" . There you have a heady cocktail of thoughts-silly and profound, feelings-recent and forgotten, words-spoken and unspoken, possibilities- thwarted and otherwise,experiences, memories, success, failure ,sloth, lust, vanity and an unquenchable thirst ...and all that keeps you going. You roam around the world but the assimilation happens within.

At the end of the day, you are the boss.

When the lights dim, when everyone departs, when the illusion is over, you are all you have. Make peace with yourself now. You are the drug. Get high.



" And can you feel the love tonight ?
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best ."


Take the first step alone. Soon, walking won't be all that difficult.

What joy. What relief.

3 comments:

sunil said...

in unison......didn't Gurudeb also said... "Ekla chalo re.....

moo-moo said...

yes but whenever I hear the song it seems that it is in the context of a protest, or adhering to a set of values. I am not talking about ethics or principles. I am just talking about the core and how being loyal to it every single day, helps. At times one can't really understand, one may be in denial but it is worth spending a lifetime trying to understand oneself and the world from one's own point of view primarily (assimilating other POVs of course), instead of blindly following others or taking other escapist routes.

sunil said...

I read that post twice and did get the underlying point there....Shiny , It is a fact of life that one can only control one's own responses and to expect others to act in certain way to give us happiness is expecting too much .....I think No human can completely understand POV of other person so it is better to accept others the way they are and expect only from own self...As you wrote there ..The surrender can only occur to myself. That's the only surrender worth it. Everything else is just an illusion. Just a useless groping for company, for approval, for pity, for love. ....