Friday, 3 December 2010

A Few Films , Which I Saw In The Theaters And Then Felt like Murdering Myself

Posting about them on Facebook would be a way to get some instant reaction but this time I want to avoid that so I have taken refuge in my little-read blog. Many of these movies have been "loved" by people who will leave no stones unturned to murder me in cyber space, if they hear I have hated these movies.

 A Warning -  These views are far from those highly intellectual criticisms by some people , who having watched a few Kurosawa's and Goddard's  think themselves to be amateur film makers or critics without whose expert opinions no one should venture to make or watch a film. These are the random thoughts of a person who has bought the tickets and the popcorn with her own (okay her father's !) money , and is entitled to her own biased opinions !

1. Anuranan : I was blissfully having a good laugh at the Shopper's Stop at Forum when my friend reminded me that we had tickets for this film. So I reached Inox (a few minutes late as usual) , and the first scene that awaited me was Rahul Bose feeding a reluctant Rituparna "daal bhaat" from a spoon addressing her very fondly as "NONI"..... well i don't know if this scene fills a normal human heart with lots of tender emotions, all i could feel was my brain trying to suppress my mouth from puking bile. This scene pretty much set the tone for the rest of the movie. I am all for Woman- Power but if any word could describe the performance of the two women , in my mind, the word is "nyaka". On the other hand Rahul Bose and Rajat Kapoor were fairly normal. Rituparna's  melodramatic sadness was irritating as was the million "shona" 's slipped into each sentence they uttered. I almost  sank into my seat out of boredom when Rahul and Raima sat in the mountains admiring the moon or the mountain or whatever! then suddenly there was this loud bang and I sat up straight thinking Inox will collapse , only to realise that Rahul Bose had died (didn't come as a surprise as I almost thought I died at that moment with the noise). I asked my friend if he was suffering from any terminal illness, thinking that perhaps I had missed a dialogue but was a sudden death. FINE! The movie dragged on as usual. The cherry on this cake of delicious boredom was a scene towards the end where Raima is in the hospital (recovering or dying I neither remember nor care about). Rituparna goes to visit her and all Raima can tell her is that she couldn't fly like a bird, the way she wanted to . Okay, my translation has killed it so I will explain. .. Raima was a soul trapped in a loveless marriage with a businessman. She was tied to this boring humdrum while her soul wanted to fly, she had even told her husband once that she sometimes thought of flying (to which Rajat replied "Try kore dekhte paro" me the only LOL moment of the movie), ultimately she is unsuccessful in having her flight of escape and that's what she is trying to say. Very artistic, very poignant, but  .Exactly how magnanimous was Rituparna.....??? I mean if I was in her place I would go   " FLY? MAY YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL, my husband went on a trip with you alone and he died. 24 hrs with you equals death , you rotten woman! "... but then may be that is the difference... i always have a heart of stone in comparison to the director who seems blessed with one made of sponge ....that can soak up tears in gallons. I remember me yawning, smiling and lashing out at the film with my friend as we prepared to walk out in the end and suddenly there was this sniffing noise , both of us looked around and saw an elderly woman crying and glaring at us. I asked the lord to bless her as I walked out ...........

2. Kidnap : did not want to watch it, but did not have enough resistance to withstand an old cherished school pal's fancy about Mr. Imran Khan. So well braced myself and went in. The movie began and....... that was it.  Almost all the reviews have said what's wrong with it. The mother looked younger than the daughter. The hide-and-seek game between Imran and Sanjay just refused to end. And Minisha in a bikini is what horror stories are made up of ! Enough said . But no one liked this movie so it was exclusively my fault !

3. Wake Up Sid: Cynical and misanthropic that I am, I do enjoy Rom -Com's. I can cry buckets watching When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill, or the SRK movies  . Konkona is a good actress, Ranbir looked promising, so what could possibly go wrong with this one ? No answer, so just headed for the theater.
It began at an okay pace, and then Sid flunked, and then he went out of the house and and then he woke up .......just that I forgot how many times he woke up throughout the movie. Konkona's voice seemed whiny and it just shook my nerves. The "realism" of the film was touching , to say the least. I mean really which son leaves his house without his camera that perhaps costs a few thousand bucks? Getting a job seemed like a cakewalk! Seriously all bosses look like Rahul Khanna and they invite you to listen to Jazz. With a few months salary you can totally buy a flat and then even have money leftover to waste the costly Asian Paints tubs, by spraying paint on your walls randomly. Then you can do up your house with a green ugly chair and loads of ugly tuni bulbs and manage to get complimented for that. If these things happen all around me, then sorry I have missed it totally ! In the end with all the boiled and poached eggs, mangoes etc, I really got confused, in the end I did not know who was wearing whose kurta and running for whom. I talked such a lot during the movie, that the sad looking girl beside me scolded me . Thank God it ended ! On a serious note, no romcom's are expected to be realistic and candy-floss romantic movies do not expose the gritty realities of life....but then they do not pretend do so either ! Here was a movie which promised something and did not deliver and bored me instead. It is well-shot and good time pass. I still watch it when it airs on TV but not the whole film, NEVER the whole film. Don't have that much patience !

.....................................will be continued in my next post.


Ambrosia said...

oh c'mon!!! Wake up Sid was good.. u just have to have the 'ear' :P

chatterbox unplugged said...

@ Ambrosia....may b i wd have likd it if i didnot have an ear :P